Posts Tagged ‘school’


For some reason I am not still curled in bed this morning shaking my fist at my hard mattress and the fan that makes my eyes are hurty.

I am awake, and dressed, and finding last minute lesson plans for baby pre-K is done-ish…I mean I always make it up as I go, they’re three, they don’t notice.

Today is the massive Halloween party for pre-K, K, and 1. It involves, candy, and haunted houses, and masks, and a play my K class is supposed to put on that they’re woefully unprepared for. However I have tried, and I guess I will never be a famous stage director some day. Damn, lifelong goals crushed.

Or at least getting 5 year olds to read a long story by themselves along with hand motions and no wiggling is way more of a demand than any broadway director has even had to face.

However it shall be good, as well as my “costume” which is really just a giant purple feathery wig, and these funny glasses with a fake nose attached. I look like…I don’t know what I look like but the wig thing reminds me some how of Carol Channing. I’m sure to scare the baby pre-K and get lots of laughs and “teacher, you crazy” from my Kindergartners.

Another reason I’m so chipper this morning is that a package came yesterday morning from Nashville. It made it, all I had to do was sign, yesss.¬† Inside were clothes, a giant purse (seriously even my giant purse passions I dont think are ready for that monstrosity, mom…maybe someday when I binge on purse capacity, or want to run away with my entire life’s possesions inside, then it will come to good use). Also food–more specifically breakfast food.

I love breakfast food….guess who doesn’t really do breakfast…asians. Or at least what I like to call breakfast. Cereal – no, toast with jelly -no, oatmeal – no, etcetc. So I now own poptarts and instant oatmeal…mmmmmmmmmm. And some muffin mix, we’ll see if we can bake muffins in our tiny toaster oven.

Also Little Debbies. Which will be scarfed immediately.

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Learning Curve

So my learning curve for classrooms I’ve decided is three days. It took 3 days to master the pre-K class and since today was the first day of teaching kindergarten as well as second grade, neither was mastered, maybe awkwardly handled, and finally completed.

Managed to pretend I wasn’t sick all day. That and talking for 5 hours are now wrecking vengence upon me and my throat as I type.

I sound like Darth Vader.

Unfortunately my hopes that the pre-K class would gain lightyears of maturity over the weekend and be prepared to be quiet, behaved little kindergarteners was not the case. Charlie still threw things, Alex still laid in the floor trying to sleep, and Thomas still sucked up to the teacher. Justin who is too smart for kindergarten but too young for first grade, got bored as usual and then started riling everyone up.

The fact that kindergarteners do not play duck duck goose as much as pre-K, and have to sit at desks, was not seen as a good thing by the class.

I did manage to read them a long story, teach the difference between “animals” and “people” and what are in those categories, sing I’m a little teapot, and get them to color their name tags and draw pictures of themselves. Elisa, who has the kindergartners complete devotion is going to help me more on Wednesday.

Second grade was not that bad. Reverse situation. Loud girls, silent boys. Connie, who is almost as tall as I am, is the bored, smart one. We read Corduroy, learned about homographs, /u/ sounds, and I attempted to learn names but since all the boys look exactly exactly the same, I continually confused Joe, Thomas, Stephen, and Robban (yes he insists that’s how I spell his name).

One of the boys George has a perpetual angry look on his face. I can’t decide if he just looks like that, or if he really is the angriest silent child on the face of the planet. Its like he smells something really disgusting for the entire class. I cannot get him to say a single word, all I get is the angry face.

However some of the students are lovely. In kindergarten there is Athena, quiet with dimples, there is Angus who always looks anxious and does his work well, Robban who has giant front teeth and gives ridiculous answers to make me laugh.

Tuesday I don’t have school, so hopefully I can recover from the cold I have and then refortify myself for wednesday. The 2nd grade class on wednesday is 3 hours instead of 2, good lord thats alot of time.

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Vacation Trip

Jennifer is Sick

Hides inside

Drinks some wine

First day of school…

I thought I was done with this crap?

Maybe that doesn’t rhyme, but then again poetry was never my thing, my thing was Victorian Literature, and all things written¬† by dead old white men. As Pat knows about my diatribes against Prof. Jarman, poetry and I have been battling for a long long time. So sorry for that bit of poetic sludge. Its the cold medicine I promise.

In other news:

Greetings from the new apartment. It is pretty snazzy here and only 4 blocks from the old digs. (Yes I used the word digs, yes I may be living in 1962).

This weekend, after a tiring three days of teaching a class for the one other english teacher (Keith) who is on vacation, Tina and I were whisked away for an impromptu weekend vacation…and by whisked away I mean taken begrudingly at 7am to a mountain cabin with 30 other people that Aunt and Uncle work with.

It was nice though, there was a pool where I swam around in a t-shirt because my bikini is apparently to hot to handle here, but then was later goaded into wearing just the bikini and fulfilling my Americaness. Then there was barbeque chicken and corn and Taiwan Beer…and then there was a sore throat and a raging migrane and then fever and dizziness and laying in bed wishing to be anywhere but here. There was drinking of mystery medicine and more laying around and then finally some fitful sleeping since Asians don’t beleive in soft mattresses but prefer to sleep on just the box springs/floor/bamboo pad. The next day, mildly better. Sitting around, playing cards, watching tv, coming home. The vacation was in the mountains south of Taipei in Wulai. There were apparently hot springs but the only thing I saw was a rock pool full of bathtub temp. water. The cabins were lovely and huge and there was a waterfall right right behind our porch. It was very much like going to the Smoky Mountains when I was little and staying at Cobbly Knob.

The waterfall behind the cabin.

Me, retrieving a giiiiant snake skin from the wall behind the cabin to the screams of Lulu, Tina, and Aunt. They were grossed out, I was fascinated…really, its just skin. I would be more scared that I climbed over the railing onto a giant wall overlooking rushing water.

Said snake skin. Isn’t it cool.

So this boy, whom I refer to as “Puffy hair boy” proclaimed his love for me last week at the office, while everyone laughed at him. “You are very beautiful. I can be your friend?” Since then, I’ve stayed distanced a bit and everyone has tormented him unmercifully. For a photo op I hopped on his scooter, and he completely freaked out that I was so close, hence the bashful smile from Puffy-haired boy. I think I might have made his day

Sadly there are no wedding bells in the future, as puffy-haired boy is 15, and well….has puffy hair. An unfortunate fashion trend for teenagers, where they get their hair all crimped so it stands out like a big fluffy poof. I think that they think its bad ass….

On a final note. Or two final notes.

Cheers to the new apartment. I will post indepth pictures as soon as we have curtains, couch slip covers, prints on the walls, I own a bed, and we have a tv.

I give it a week before we can amass all of these things. Right now its nice, but a bit spartan.

Also. Tomorrow is the first official day of school. Though I’ve been teaching preschoolers for the past 3 days, tomorrow I have my own classes, a kindergarten one and a second grade one.

I am terrified. But only because I know two hours is alot longer than I think it is. And because the lesson plan book is full of stupid shit that no real 5 year old would sit through. Where are you Ms. Harper when I need you. It’ll be fine, I have enough inane songs and vague questions to last me to infinity.

Lesson plan books, fie. Vinyl retro couch,fie.

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